Don't steal bikes, bro!

topic posted Mon, October 26, 2009 - 8:30 AM by  Язηdall
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Don't do it again!

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posted by:
Язηdall
New York City
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  • Re: Don't steal bikes, bro!

    Mon, October 26, 2009 - 11:52 AM
    Seriously.. Rendall! You just hit on one of my most angry moments. Bookstore, 94 maybe, I leave my bike at the backdoor, someone must have been watching me for days, I come around the front, about two minutes, open the back door, it's not there. Way, way pissed. Glad the guy got away. Haven't opened up yet.
  • Re: Don't steal bikes, bro!

    Mon, October 26, 2009 - 11:53 AM
    Wow; they were almost hugging him.

    Guy got off easy. Very easy. I hope he got down on his knees and praised Jesus for making hipsters gentle. That was... downright relaxing. I can't believe the lack of blood. Truly amazing.

    I thought NY was hard?
    • Re: Don't steal bikes, bro!

      Mon, October 26, 2009 - 1:13 PM
      >>I thought NY was hard? <<

      The dirty little secret of NY is that we've gone soft. Life is good here, and we have such a rep from the bad old days and the media that we basically just have to give someone a hard look and they back off. But when it comes time to unleash the dark, we only manage a little smokey squirt before everyone gets back to the hugging. It's pathetic, really. Even Bridge&Tunnel are tougher than us. We're kind of afraid of these barbarians who assault our sensibilities every weekend.
  • Re: Don't steal bikes, bro!

    Wed, October 28, 2009 - 2:09 PM
    I propose that whomever steals someone's bike shall have to get on their hands and knees and carry the theft victim to whatever destination they wish.
    • Re: Don't steal bikes, bro!

      Wed, October 28, 2009 - 2:21 PM
      I like the deal in Japan where below-par businessmen have to sing really loud while wearing lots of ribbons in a public place.
      • Re: Don't steal bikes, bro!

        Wed, October 28, 2009 - 2:23 PM
        Are you saying that that's what they do to bicycle thieves?
        • Re: Don't steal bikes, bro!

          Wed, October 28, 2009 - 3:17 PM
          Oh no; it was just a thought. The alleged thief in the video's real punishment was shame. They didn't hurt him, but everyone within sight *hated* him and he could sense it. You can see his face communicating his swell of self-loathing.

          That's so much more brutal than a mere ass-kicking (which imo wouldn't have stood nearly as good a chance of deterring his future criminality). Shame isn't as great a motivator for Americans as it is for Nipponese - but maybe we should experiment with it.

          Teens of the current crop, apparently, will kill themselves if you call them fat on Myspace. Instead of trying to legislate against cruel application of shame, let's wield it, like a club, or a scalpel.
          • Re: Don't steal bikes, bro!

            Wed, October 28, 2009 - 4:19 PM
            Don't be a Jason. People want physical things, let them have them. Gives the adults some quiet time. Pacifier.

            Who cares if other people are fat? Not my business. Japanese aren't ordinarily statistically fat. I like them. Islanders.

            Shame is not our weapon, nor humiliation.

            Just keep the fire hot. Fire calms people. It makes the shadows dance. You know as well as I do Loki that the simpletons among us are easily scared. Pacify them. Revert them to the innocence of a sheltered, protected childhood where they are awed into submission.
            • Re: Don't steal bikes, bro!

              Wed, October 28, 2009 - 4:20 PM
              Gotta make sure the bonobo thin g goes better the next time through.
              • Re: Don't steal bikes, bro!

                Wed, October 28, 2009 - 4:45 PM
                Nah; I'll stick with shaming. If Jason had ever gotten laid as a young man, most of his current "opponents" would be worshiping his integrity. I'd wager. Only 1) being consistently wrong about 2) the specific things he's so wrong about make Jason a bad man. Were there any ethical basis for his pogrom against sanity (or any situation in which arguing with him served some purpose) then he'd be exemplary of intellectual honesty. Sadly, he's just a perverted loon with a poor vocabulary and a weak grasp of low-order logic.

                No invocation of a golden age society excuses the asshole from stealing bikes. Sorry. You, though, are free to forgive anyone that pleases you to forgive. I tend not to excuse people, on any basis, really. It's rare that a situation actually calls for forgiveness - usually, I find, it's more of a matter of me letting go of anger than telling someone the fib "you are forgiven".

                The ethical bottom line, here, as I see it, is clear: the bike was locked up.

                No one is 'forgiven'. Consequences are real. Dude got far less than his crime merited; they did the right thing twice: thoroughly punished him, and backed off before he got hurt. The shithead gets to keep his body intact and the couriers get to avoid going to jail over stupid bullshit. One thing's sure, the shithead looked around *very* carefully before he stole his next bike. I'm guess he went back to work the day or so following this incident.

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